I couldn’t hide my grief when I
saw the title of the article. This tragic incident happened in India stole twenty
two innocent children’s lives away. Majority of poisoned children’s parents had
to watch their children helplessly dying in their arms. The reason turned out
to be food containment. The cooking oil used to fry food was identified as the
oil that had been used in insecticides.
India government began serving free meals to over 120
million children in India. As
free meals were served, attendance of children increased and rate of children
suffering from malnutrition drastically decreased. It was relieving to learn
such program has been supporting children who suffer from poverty and
dearth of food source. However, after this incident, I posed a question: “is government
really concerned with children’s health? Are they truly determined to dedicate
money on enhancing the situation in India?”
However, doing fundraisers
and making food donations could embellish a situation a
little. India government is putting efforts to abet children who are in
need of help. Yet, the government is facing scarcity of money. Naturally, government bought cheap oils, which
engendered numerous children's death. Donation of food resources, especially
food edible supplies, will decrease the possibility of such tragedy from occurring
again. Hopefully India government will
pay closer attention on free meals that are distributed to children after this incident.
Besides food provision, lack of medical support seemed to
be another urgent problem as well. Clinical centers were crowded from suddenly increased poisoned children. Consequently, a chaos was created and bountiful children died while waiting for doctor's help.
The article consists of factual “hook”. At the beginning
of the article, the brief explanation of the incident is suggested, which helps
readers’ overall understanding.
This is very devastating. I also read this article, and it broke my heart to find that over twenty children had died because of food poisoning. I just recommend that you read your commentary before posting it just to make sure that there aren't any grammatical errors. All in all, I enjoyed reading your commentary on this article.
ReplyDeletethank you for your criticism !
DeleteI agree with Samantha's comment and also recommend proofreading your commentary before posting it. The topic you chose was really interesting. This really is a tragic incident, and I wonder what caused this. Like you mentioned, if the Indian government is going to give these children free meals, they should do it right.
ReplyDeleteI'll work on my grammar, sorry! and yes indeed it is very tragic ):
Delete